i frequently find myself...

picking up on the habits of others.

if i hang around someone long enough, i start to talk like them.
i start to pick up on their mannerisms, even if only slightly.

i recently read an article by shaine claiborne, author of the irresistible revolution and i realized that there is a way of speaking, a way of acting, that i've been searching for - yet in so many ways absolutely missing...

i want to speak like Jesus
i want to love like Jesus
i want to spend enough time with God that i pick up on His mannerisms...

even if only slightly.

go confidently...

in the direction of your dreams. live the life you have imagined."

-henry david thoreau

i went home today. it has been a while.
it was great to see my sister, she's doing well.
and even with the rain and gloomy look outside, i was very much at peace.

some things have been really difficult for me lately, yet some of those very things have entirely changed my perspective in such a positive way, and i have grown so much.

i hope this continues, and i hope i can live a little more of life every day.

life is...

one of those precious fleeting gifts, and everything can change in a heartbeat.

-unknown

the transition back to school this year has been an interesting one. things are simply not as i expected them to be in any way shape or form. and i'm finding myself lost.

my sister's surgery is today and this is the very first time i've REALLY thought about it. in fact i've been so horrified i've hardly told anyone that it is even happening...

my faith...

runs so very much faster than my reason that I can challenge the whole world and say, 'God is, was and ever shall be'"

-gandhi

i tried out a new church today. there are a lot of exciting things going on in this world for God, and this place was definitely one of them. i think i'll go back there when i can. there's an energy there that i need in my spiritual life right now, something to keep this burning.

and there was also a challenge to meet exactly that need...

a lot of my faith has been really intellectual for a long time. it was always about how i knew God existed... or how i knew that He died on a cross so that i might live...

this morning i was challenged to quit relying on myself. easy, right? how many times have we all heard that one? but this was different.

it's not about the amount of knowledge you have.
it's not about whether or not you know all the biblical stories (something i frequently struggle with)
stop assuming you have to be perfect. stop assuming you have to be far enough.
He wants you as you are.
He wants to mold and shape you for His glorious purpose.

and give all that you have right now, as you are, for Jesus Christ.

"if you only learn one thing, but apply it, amazing things can be done in the name of God... i'm not interested in information, i'm interested in application"

hold fast to dreams...

for when dreams go, life is a barren field, frozen with snow.”

-langston hughes

as i spent my week in new orleans, i began to realize that i was slowly falling in love with the city. brokenness and longing coupled with such amazing culture, hospitality, and authenticity...

I have been...
motivated.
inspired.
challenged.
called.

have at this new life, risk and all, or become a barren field.

what a place to find God.

the probability that we may fail...

in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just.”

-abraham lincoln

i'm in new orleans for the week and it has been awesome so far. so many people (around 37,000) coming together who are excited for God and doing His work is always amazing.

and the amount of work that we are accomplishing as a group is impressive. the city has estimated that the work we will do in THREE DAYS would take those currently involved in projects over three years to complete.
a daunting task to be sure, but nothing is impossible as His hands and feet.

and in what better way could we experience God than that of helping those in need?

this is shaping up to be an incredibly inspiring week.
God, let's do this thing.

to love at all is to be vulnerable...

love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. if you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. but in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. it will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

-C.S. Lewis

it's time to change some things. day after day i continue to avoid difficult thoughts. i do my best to keep my emotions tied up and locked away. it's destroying me.

relationships with family, friends - everyone - are hindered by my selfishness. God help me open myself up to those i care about. dig from deep within me the struggles i have kept hidden so well.

make me vulnerable. make me loving. make me genuine...